I was trying to explain to a colleague how you can give someone bromine poisoning when trying to swap out a bromine atom for a radioactive fluorine in perflubron molecules when he asked me how the compound gets into the testicles. Long story short, my brominated lungs look like hairy testicles.
5:34 pm • 30 September 2014
And here’s the official picture my publisher just used to announce my involvement at MICE. You might remember my adventures with Bort and Earnee in Vegas, and so does Fulcrum, apparently.
1:34 pm • 30 September 2014 • 3 notes
Colonial Comics MICE Takeover
Well, folks, Colonial Comics, New England 1620-1750 makes its grand debut at MICE 2014. This isn’t just a grand debut for you all, this is also a grand debut for me. I saw the pre-proof version of the book but that was the last I saw of it. Fulcrum made some final edits, those edits were…
All the details on my MICE schedule.
8:50 am • 29 September 2014 • 14 notes
And in case you care to see my scorecard. In case you’re wondering, that jumbled mess in the seventh inning says “Kd1-wp” because Jones struck out but reached first on a wild pitch and then “2-3 HOLY SHIT!” because Ramos picked off Jones two pitches later.
What a goddamn game.
11:47 pm • 28 September 2014 • 1 note
Can I take a minute to talk about baseball? In case you’re wondering who made the above recording of Jordan Zimmermann’s no-hitter, it was me. In case you’re wondering who it was in the video who completely lost his shit…that was also me.
Look…I’ve been watching baseball my entire life. Long-suffering Mets fan who made the transition to the Nats at the end of the 2011 season when I realized how exciting they were. I’m 36 years old, and I’ve officially spent as many years outside of New York as I spent inside it. My dad, who brought me home from the hospital in a Mets shirt, has come to terms with the fact that I’m going to over 25 Nationals’ games a year not just because I love baseball but because I love the Nats.
But this isn’t even about the Nats…this is about that once-in-a-lifetime moment. I’ve been to hundreds of baseball games in my life…well over 500, I’m sure. There were three things that have never happened in any of these games that just kind of bugged me…1) I never caught a foul ball, probably because I’m usually in the cheap seats, 2) I never saw a bench-clearing brawl live, and 3) I’ve never seen a no-hitter.
After seeing a no-hitter, live…to hell with those other two things. It was MAGICAL. I score all of my games, so people would turn to me and ask, “Is he…?” and I’d just say, “He’s pitching a great game. He’s pitching an amazing game.” By the time the seventh inning rolled around everyone knew what was going on. Eighth inning…anxiety. Just silence and anxiety. Ninth inning…with each strike you knew that it was that much closer, this rare occurrence that you usually only hear about after the fact. And you’re sitting there, and no one wants to say anything because all of a sudden every superstition is real.
DON’T JINX IT!
You sit there, quietly…until the last out.
That last out. With each pitch your heart skips a beat. Every strike gets a loud cheer, every ball gets a loud “Ohhhhhhh.”
And then when that ball left the bat and we saw Souza running and then diving and then coming up with it…bodies exploded. Everyone went crazy. Maybe I went crazier than everyone else…but it felt like 36 years lead up to this moment.
And now the playoffs start on Friday, and the Nats are going in with this entire city behind them and with momentum on their side.
It’s funny, I almost didn’t go to this game. Last minute decision. My wife kept telling me to go and I even got angry, said she was just trying to get rid of me.
Well, thank you, my love. This was one of the greatest things I’ve ever seen. And thank you, Jordan Zimmermann and thank you Washington Nationals and thank you baseball and thank you, dad, for raising me on baseball.
The sport with no clock. The sport that’s truly never over until the last out which, in this case, was Souza’s amazing diving catch.
Thank you so much for this moment.
11:33 pm • 28 September 2014 • 12 notes
“Spite is my greatest motivator. My therapist says it’s not sustainable, but I’m proving that it is to spite him.”
— An email I just sent to a friend. It’ll be the opening line to “Harness the Power of Your Spite,” coming in 2016 from Jason Rodriguez.
3:57 pm • 23 September 2014 • 7 notes
Unless they changed it in the TPB… There is no “Born Again” chapter.
6:30 pm • 20 September 2014 • 2 notes
If so, I didn’t know that… But either way it wasn’t illustrated by Klaus Janson…as the actual Born Again was. I wonder if they reached out to Janson for permission to reprint his art from DKR and he responded, “Why would I care?”
Edit…oh, but it was inked by Janson. OK. Maybe.
6:18 pm • 20 September 2014 • 2 notes
I bought this book today for $12, marked down from $40. And I gotta say… That’s clearly DARK KNIGHT RETURNS and not BORN AGAIN.
6:06 pm • 20 September 2014 • 2 notes
I’ve separated myself from Frank Ocean’s CHANNEL ORANGE for about…a year? And, yeah, “Pyramids” is still the greatest song in recent memory. It’s PURPLE RAIN-era Prince recording a DARKNESS ON THE EDGE OF TOWN-era Bruce Springsteen song, and honestly better than anything on either of those albums. Sorry, just stating facts.
8:49 pm • 19 September 2014 • 1 note