I was leaving football practice when I noticed my dad’s Camry parked outside my schoolyard. My dad wasn’t supposed to pick me up so I figured something was horribly wrong. This was when horribly wrong things happened quite often.
I got in the car and my dad put his hand on my leg in a supportive sort of, “I can’t reach across the Camry and hug you way,” and said, “Kurt Cobain killed himself.”
That night I went to my friend’s house. We went to the bodega and tried to buy 40s but the owner wouldn’t let us. We begged him. Said, “Don’t you know that Kurt Cobain died?” He sold us one 40. We walked back to my friends house drinking the 40, stepping into the middle of the street on occasion while screaming, “KURRTTTTTT!”
When we got back to my friend’s house we raided his dad’s liquor cabinet. We played laser tag in his house and later that night tried on his mom’s clothes and took pictures of ourselves.We crashed in his basement. At one point I took a nudie mag into the bathroom.
It was a touching tribute.
There was this comic shop off Court Street in Carroll Gardens, it was called Mannex, I think. It didn’t actually have a name, Mannex (I think) was the nerd who ran it. The owner was this guy with slicked back hair and a mustache who knew nothing about comics except for the fact that X-Force #1 was going to pay my college tuition. The owner would occasionally play the Terminator 2 pinball game with us but he was pretty terrible. Whenever we’d win he’d hit the machine, step back, and scream, “This fucking guy!" To this day I don’t know if this fucking guy was me, Arnold Schwarzenegger, or Mannex, who sat behind the counter, laughing.
Wait, was Mannex the owner? Was the nerd’s name Joe? Why would we name the shop after the nerd behind the counter?
All I know is that someone there convinced me to spend fifty dollars on a Gold Variant Deathmate #1. It should have paid for a Porsche by now. I have a Matrix.
$50 was a week’s pay at the video store. I’m sure that after I put the money on the counter and left with my soon-to-be worthless comic, Mannex or Joe said, “This fucking guy!"
When I was a kid I had a shirt that said, “Hey, Pee-Wee, Button Your Fly.” I got it in Wildwood, New Jersey, and wore it the first time I made out with this girl I was flirting with at Outdoor World. I reached down her shirt and said, “Oh, looks like you’re horny.” I had spiked hair, cut into a duck’s ass at the back of my neck. I carried a condom in my wallet, the same one that was there four years later when I still didn’t need a condom. That same trip, I got an airbrushed Wolverine shirt in the style of Jim Lee.
That paragraph, right there, is about as early-90s as you can get.
I picture drunk Orson Welles, hanging on the internets, screaming, “That’s a great tracking shot? Have you imbeciles SEEN Touch Of Evil?”
This past weekend, I challenged artist and friend Charles Fetherolf to send me a good playlist of rock songs recorded between 1975 and 1979. I can’t verify the years on these, but I’m two songs in and feeling OK with this. Feel free to listen along.
The Wikipedia page on curling is more ridiculous than the Wikipedia page on Sonic the Hedgehog. I didn’t think this was possible. But apparently the one group more pathetic than folks obsessed with an anthropomorphic hedgehog is a group obsessed with sweeping ice and being considered athletes.
— Jesus Christ this is way too much time to dedicate to a curling match, I’m sorry. Curling timing should be: 1) Each team gets five minutes 2) whoever puts their quarters up gets next.
Osamu Tezuka as a meme? That’s right, Internet. This is Osamu Tezuka.
You can call this meme douche-bag artist-multimillionaire, too.
WARNING: Extremely demotivating.
PS: In reality, Osamu Tezuka was extraordinarily kind.
Charles Fetherolf and I hit the road tomorrow. We’re going to Concord Museum to talk about a future story for Colonial Comics Volume II as well as some education and outreach programs we’d like to do with them. Charlie is a grumpy man that hates hip-hop, thinks no one born in the 80s or 90s should like anything from the 70s, and that Jim Steranko owes him a quarter, so I made a special playlist for the road trip.
I hope all you DC-area folks plan on coming to Smudge on March 8th. Some of the programming’s starting to be announced and it should convince you to change your mind in case you were considering making a bad decision and staying at home, watching Guy Fieri on your televisions.
Programming for the Smudge Expo (Saturday, March 8, 2014, from noon to 6 p.m. at Artisphere in Arlington, Va.) has been announced. Schedule times for talks and workshops coming soon! Talks will take place in the Black Box Theater at Artisphere and hands-on workshops will take place in the classroom space.
Ben Hatke – Three Keys to Comics
Where do stories come from? How do you invent new characters? How do words and pictures work together? Why are stories magic? Can the right story change the world? Ben touches on all these things while sharing his “three secrets to making great comics,” a presentation that includes live drawing, masks, story card activities and more. Plus: The secret origin of Zita the Spacegirl…
Steve Artley – Editorial Cartooning (And Other Hazards)
Award-winning, nationally syndicated editorial cartoonist Steve Artley talks about his 25-year career, shares his work and provides a glimpse into his cartoon development process in this forty-five minute slideshow and lecture. Steve’s work is syndicated throughout the United States and Canada and has appeared in various newspapers and periodicals such as The New York Times, The Washington Post, Newsweek and Time, as-well-as online cartoon round-ups such as TIME Best Cartoons of the Week, NPR Double Takes, and was included in the Washington Post’s picks for Best Cartoons of the Year in 2011. Steve currently works as staff cartoonist for the Alexandria Gazette Packet through Connection Newspapers of Northern Virginia. He is also Creative Director for his own multi-media campaign and design firm in Alexandria, VA.
Steve Loya – Splotch Monsters
Create some Splotch Monsters with local artist and educator Steve Loya. Steve has been creating these imaginary beasts from splotches of paint, coffee, tea, ink for nearly half-a-decade, and he runs the blog and online shop, Splotch Monster Island. Indulge your imagination by turning seemingly random watercolor splotches into creative and fun critters, by drawing on faces, limbs, hair, spots, stripes, scales, horns, etc. Steve encourages Splotch Monster-makers to imagine stories, scenarios and names for these creations as well. For kids and kids-at-heart, all are welcome to attend and participate in this workshop.
Matt Dembicki – Roll Up Your Sleeves and Make Comics
Roll up your sleeves and make comics! Matt Dembicki, a local comics creator, holds a hands-on workshop for kids on how to make comics, from making characters to making panels and putting it all together. We’ll provide the paper and pencils; you provide the creativity! Matt edited and contributed to the comic anthology “District Comics,” named one of The Washington Post‘s best books of 2012. He also edited and contributed to “Trickster: Native American Tales: A Graphic Collection,” a 2011 Eisner Award nominee and 2011 Aesop Prize winner. In 2005, he co-founded the D.C. Conspiracy, a comics creators collaborative in Washington.
Teresa Roberts Logan – PAINT YOUR HEAD (ART JOURNALING)
Do you want to keep a journal of a different kind? What is going on your head today? Through lecture, images, and demo, Teresa Roberts Logan will teach you to make, start, and continue a cartoon-oriented Art Journal. Art journals can incorporate doodling, collages, upcycling, painting, favorite quotes, colors (or not) and your own thoughts – using words and pictures to express yourself and the story you want to tell. Art journals can be joyous, profound, somber, or silly. It’s up to you. The only rule is … no rules! Teresa Roberts Logan is a Reuben-Award nominated cartoonist (Greeting Card Division)and standup comic who has been a featured comic on HBO, A&E, The Comedy Channel, and the Hallmark Channel, among others. This workshop is geared towards adults, 18 years and older.
look at this shit eating grin. this man thinks he has posed an unanswerable question to evolutionary biologists that will shake the very foundation of the theory of evolution to its core when any 14-year-old can tell you that we literally did not evolve from monkeys. amazing
I honestly don’t believe half of these, not to say I doubt the journalistic integrity of Buzzfeed but haha just kidding, I doubt the journalistic integrity of Buzzfeed.
The shit eating grin could also be a, “This shit is funny,” grin. The problem with this particular picture, is that the statement is SO TIRED and SO OVERUSED and SO OBVIOUS. Let me put on my Indiana Jones hat and Internet archaeologize this nonsense.
I think I first saw this argument a million internet years ago on Fundies Say The Darndest Things which is a site that I believe came into existence in at least 5 BB (Before Buzzfeed) and if I remember correctly the quote was pulled from Rapture Ready which, Holy Shit, remember Rapture Ready? I mean, it still exists but it was a “thing” in like 12 BB and even in that thread the poster’s fellow creationists were all like, “Maybe you shouldn’t use that PARTICULAR argument.”
Anyway, I think the joke behind that logic became more popular than the original statement and this guy, right here…he born in, like 11 BB (?)… he doesn’t remember the original context or 9/11 but someone from Buzzfeed asked him to write something so let’s do this it’s funny.
I mean, my point is, no one is really this dumb. I mean, people are, but not this dude. He’s smart enough to wear a faux-fur-lined sweatshirt in the winter, he’s passable, at least. The thermodynamics guys, sure, they can regurgitate some argument they heard and sound pop-smart but they didn’t study a thimble-full of physics. The pious can remain pious. But the monkey disappearing argument…this dude is taking the piss, bros.
- a magazine publisher who did not immediately recognize him
- Howard Cohen, a president of Roadside Attractions
- a person at the meeting who spoke on the condition of anonymity
- David Bar Katz, a playwright and friend
- a writer, Tatiana Pahlen
- Theresa Fehr, a home warranties executive…
Better than a collection of twitter reactions…
I won’t be linking all of the posts, but the Colonial Comics blog is getting active again. First post is about the evolution of the cover.
After some unfortunate delays, Colonial Comics Volume One (now titled Colonial Comics: New England, 1620-1750) is readying for a September 2014 release, only six months behind the original schedule. There is still frantic work going on behind the scenes, but there’s enough material coming in now that I can start sharing some awesomeness pretty routinely. And what better way to start than with the cover?
Scott White and I met up at an Anita’s New Mexican restaurant (we were supposed to meet at BonChon Chicken but they were inexplicably closed at 11PM on a Sunday) sometime in mid-December to talk about the cover design. I had some ideas, Scott had some ideas, and combined we had way too many ideas.
I remember saying that I wanted this linear collage that showed England in the upper left corner, the Mayflower crossing, winter, livestock, wars and massacres…just everything. Basically a cover that told every story that was going to be in the book. And Scott was on board! We were going to have the busiest 8x8 cover ever created. And it probably would have been terrible.
It took Scott all of a day to inform me that we were going for too much and he pitched a cover that had the Mayflower landing with Native Americans looking on. The original design can be seen below:
I thought it looked great, but the Native Americans looked very threatening and that wasn’t the story we were trying to tell here. At all. So I asked him to lose the weapons and got:
Again, it looked great…but it didn’t tell a story. So I pitched something a bit crazy to Scott. I asked him to make the focus of the cover the land. This vast amount of empty land. Empty beach, empty forest, very few people. One Native American and one landing boat – all in the distance. Small and not the focal point. Make the story about how much LAND existed, so that the eventual story of English colonists completely taking this land, unable to share it, becomes so much more tragic.
This first volume, after all, is about the establishment of the American identity – the good, the bad, and the ugly. So Scott gave me this cover, and I knew we had our cover the minute I saw it.
And then he colored it:
And then we needed to title it. I went with 1790 Royal Printing Font in order to make it look like old copy. I also grabbed some pages from the Bay Psalm Book and copped some of the design elements. Designed a title I really wanted to use…
….but it didn’t fit with the cover. So I had to lose some elements to finally deliver…
…but I needed the title to be bigger. So here’s where we’re at right now and I think it’ll stay this way…the (hopefully) official cover to Colonial Comics: New England, 1620-1750: