I spent the weekend watching football, even though the only team from this weekend that I can really get behind is the Saints. The worst game, for me, was the Pittsburgh/Denver game. I’ve talked about Tim Tebow in the past, and how I just can’t get behind him as a player and how I hate the way the media portrays him as the biggest story in the NFL. I love watching Tim Tebow lose, but not as much as I love watching Ben Roethlisberger lose. Roethlisberger is a disgusting human being on so many levels. From a player standpoint, he takes his “iron man” schtick to embarrassing levels, hurting his own team by refusing to sit. I’ve never been a fan of players who looked out for themselves over their team, as evident by my Brett Favre tirades I used to lay down on this blog. As a person, Roethlisberger is an unapologetic rapist who uses his power and media machine to silence his critics. There is no doubt in my mind that Ben Roethlisberger caused unimaginable pain for at least two women, and it makes me furious that he gets a pass, and that his fans either deny wrongdoing, slut-shame the victims, or bring up other criminal athletes (including some that served time) as an excuse for Roethlisberger’s actions.
So, given the choice between an evangelical Christian and a serial rapist, I cheered for the former.
I was hoping that we would see a defensive victory and not something that could be deemed a “mile-high miracle,” and with less than 30-seconds to go, a time-out in hand, and Pittsburgh drilling towards field goal range I remember saying, “Please, just win and get this over with.”
Nope, Roethlisberger gets stripped, then there’s a delay-of-game penalty, the game goes into overtime, and like everyone else in the world I opened up the new overtime rules on my iPhone to remind myself of the details. While I was reading the rules, Tebow connects to Demaryius Thomas on the first play of the drive. It was a terrible play-action that somehow fooled the safeties and Demaryius Thomas stiff-arms Ike Taylor like a Madden video game running back and goes 80 yards for the touchdown.
And just like that, another mile-high miracle for the media to salivate over.
I golf clapped for Denver, laughed at Roethlisberger, and then, regrettably, turned to ESPN for the post-game interviews.
And there was Tebow, who starts his interview by saying, “First and foremost, I’d like to thank my lord and savior Jesus Christ.” Not his defense, that came-up clutch against Pittsburgh’s last drive. Not Thomas and his Stiff-Arm of the Gods, a stiff-arm of Homeric proportions. No - the victory is attributed to his Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, who probably doesn’t even like football.
When asked about Thomas’ run after the catch, Tebow says his first thought was to thank the Lord.
Can you imagine how his teammates must feel? If you just played the game of your life, if your catch is going to be on every highlight reel for the next ten years, and your spiritual leader and captain basically says, “Jesus was looking out for me.”
Nails on a chalkboard.
But he’s not a rapist, right? He never did anything to hurt women.
But then you think back to 2010, the infamous Focus on the Family Super Bowl ad featuring Tim Tebow. The one where he was presented as a “miracle baby” and proof that you should “celebrate life.” The real Tebow offense, not getting down on his knees after touchdowns instead of patting his offensive line on the back, not carving bible verse call-outs into his eye black.
When you look at that, when you look at the systemic problems caused by anti-choice advocates, when you look at how they want to hurt all women and how their messages are accepted as merely an opinion and put on television without the opportunity for a rebuttal…
Well, when you look at it that way, Tebow is just as bad as Roethlisberger. Unfortunately, his actions are acceptable in this society, making him less “criminal” in the classic sense.
So, in conclusion, fuck Tim Tebow. I hope he gets buried next week at New England. Here I am, a Jet fan, saying I hope New England puts 45 points up on Denver and holds Tebow to 50 yards. I hope they embarrass him. Because, to me, sports are important but not THE MOST IMPORTANT THING EVER. Yeah, I don’t want New England to win - but I want Tebow to lose a lot more. I want to shut him up until next year.
Will he be thanking his Lord and Savior after that? I doubt it.
