“If you watched Mark Sanchez the last month of the season, he was like a chihuahua standing on Madison Avenue and 36th Street entering the Midtown Tunnel, eyes bigger than you-know-what, and just so shaky.”
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Let us dissect this quote from the quarterback who was 15-27 as a NY Jet and got to the playoffs twice in his career with Cincy (with a 3-1 record but he did make the Super Bowl so credit where it’s due) about a player who’s 27-20 as a NY Jet and 4-2 in the playoffs (all road victories and all within his short, 3-year career to-date).
But let’s look at this quote, from the blonde-hair and blue-eyed Esiason, that starts by comparing the Mexican Mark Sanchez to a chihuahua…actually, let’s just look at that, first. What came after that quote? Did he say that Sanchez used to sizzle like a fajita, or maybe he used to hop off the line like a jumping bean? Maybe Sanchez is taking the jobs of American quarterbacks, wrapping the football in his arms like a human burrito, and making it difficult for the Jets to make a move on the extremely injured but beef-fed Peyton Manning, continuing the Jets’ tradition of picking up quarterbacks who are well past their prime (Esiason, O’Donnell, Testaverde, Favre…a who’s who of “You take hims”).
But the thing I really want to know is…what are Sanchez’s eyes bigger than? Don’t leave me hanging, Boomer! I don’t know what! A large penis? A super turd? THE MOON?????
Anyways…Sanchez will get traded, journey for a year, find a team with a good coaching staff and short-range weapons, and start to put up numbers in his mid-twenties like, you know, MOST QUARTERBACKS DO.
Except Boomer, who started strong and burned-out hard.
